Stephen O'Connor, SPHR, is senior director of Professional Search Services for the MHA Service Corporation, Lansing, and can be e-mailed at soconnor@mha.org

Staff Matters Newsletter September/October 2000
Cantaloupe and Green Bananas:
Humor as Communication
By Steve O'Connor

My dad was a man who appreciated the richness that a sense of humor could add to an otherwise tedious life. His humor was either self-effacing or intelligently clever, but never hurtful. He was also a humble poet and only recently did the family see some of the poems he had written over the course of a lifetime. Some are sad, some are poignant and one in particular is a great example of his ability to combine wit and an economy of language:

Love In The Garden

The Watermelon was so fond
Of the melon, musk
And lay in awe of its beauty
All from dawn to dusk
Honey come and say you love me
You know I love you too
Though I lay impotent here
Oh tell me, Honeydew
And I know we Cantaloupe
Because I cannot rise
Lettuce whisper here together
And brush away the flies
~ Aloysius R. O’Connor

He was a man who knew how to use humor carefully and without malice. This is also a quality of a good manager. In a recent article titled Workplace Humor is Valued but It has Its Place, which appeared in the Newark, NJ, Star-Ledger, Julie Ciamporcero suggests some guidelines for the appropriate level of humor on the job.

Don’t forward funny e-mail at work — Sure, that list of "Top Ten Excuses for Falling Asleep at Work" may be funny, but forwarding it to your coworkers or boss can look as if you’re wasting time.
When in doubt, apologize — When a joke seems to offend someone, don’t waste time arguing about it. Your safest course of action is to apologize at once. Explain that you didn’t mean to cause any harm.
Strive for wit, not wisecracks — Concentrate on humor that doesn’t demean people. Show a willingness to laugh at your own mistakes.
Al O’Connor was an accountant for 35 years at Consumers Power Company in Jackson, before retiring in 1971. He never got into management, although he would have made a wonderful manager. His combination of wit, humility and a staunch allegiance to a set of non-negotiable values would have served him well as a leader. I know it has served me well as his son. Another one of dad’s poems has to do with the workplace and demonstrates his ability to chide his coworkers in a good-natured fashion. One year, as he was preparing to go on vacation, he wrote a parting poem to his fellow employees.

A Parting Shot

When I relax on nature’s bosom
I will think of you
And while you sweat among your ciphers
I’ll apostrophize the dew
And revel in the scintillating light
Of the rising sun
You’ll be trudging, weary, to your work
I’ll be having fun
With Diana I’ll walk the forest
And linger in the dark
While in a dusty, noisy office
Your sweating rear will park
~ Aloysius O’Connor

My dad understood that humor is the antidote for self-pity. As ALS ravaged his body, it could not touch his love or his humor. I called him one day and asked how he was doing. He replied, "Well, I’m not buying any green bananas." I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. So I did both. He was truly the "master of his fate, the captain of his soul" (Invictus: William Ernst Henley). He died on Jan. 26, 2000. He would have been 94 this year. I’ll miss you, Papa.